UmbralRaptor changed the topic of #kspacademia to: https://gist.github.com/pdn4kd/164b9b85435d87afbec0c3a7e69d3e6d | Dogs are cats. Spiders are cat interferometers. | Космизм сегодня! | Document well, for tomorrow you may get mauled by a ネコバス. | <UmbralRaptor> … one of the other grad students just compared me to nomal O_o | <ferram4> I shall beat my problems to death with an engineer.
<UmbralRaptor>
i5 with a 4 digit number is probably good?
<UmbralRaptor>
Apparently the work mac is an i5-5250U @ 1.6 GHz?
<soundnfury>
* has Core i5
<soundnfury>
* uses it to emulate Z80
<soundnfury>
^_^
<UmbralRaptor>
Is the Z80 a TI-8x?
<soundnfury>
nope, Sinclair Spectrum
<soundnfury>
also pegboard, my project to design a SMP Z80 system and write a modern kernel for it :/
<soundnfury>
(currently stalled, I got a bit Knuthed and started writing a language and compiler so I wouldn't have to write the entire kernel in asm)
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* UmbralRaptor
goes for the subtlest twitter icon update.
<UmbralRaptor>
(from g-band monochrome to gri colored)
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<e_14159>
"I was not alone, for foolhardiness was not then mixed with the ham slices."
<e_14159>
o_O
<egg|zzz|egg>
"the unnamable powder served with the flour and red pepper"
<egg|zzz|egg>
[...]
<egg|zzz|egg>
All was in vain; the death that had come had left no trace save the steamed red peppers and chicken broth.
<egg|zzz|egg>
Sometimes, in the throes of a nightmare when unseen powers whirl one over the roofs of strange dead cities toward the grinning chasm of Nis, it is a relief and even a delight to make the soup.
<e_14159>
I like the chicken ones; sounds like HP Lovecraft for poultry.
<egg|zzz|egg>
"we couldn't reproduce it at the time" phl's way of saying "we couldn't be arsed"
<Ellied>
!wpn egg
* Qboid
gives egg a jellied rotor
<Ellied>
!wpn egg|zzz|egg
* Qboid
gives egg|zzz|egg a spectral feather
<egg|zzz|egg>
!wpn Ellied
* Qboid
gives Ellied a salted ☢
<Ellied>
molten salt! \o/
<Ellied>
probably ThF₄
<egg|zzz|egg>
Ellied: iirc you were considering doing C++/principia stuff a while ago?
<Ellied>
Not with my current level of IRL business I wasn't. :P
<egg|zzz|egg>
:D
<Ellied>
it sounds fascinating but I think I'm going to be increasingly busy x-raying semiconductor materials to see how they twitch when you blast them with lasers
<egg|zzz|egg>
[but I need to find moar people whom to eggsplain numerical analysis!]
<egg|zzz|egg>
(is that sentence grammatically sound? English confuses me sometimes)
<egg|zzz|egg>
!wpn Ellied
* Qboid
gives Ellied a doomed purpose
<egg|zzz|egg>
!wpn -add:adj ellied
<Qboid>
egg|zzz|egg: Adjective added!
<Ellied>
a doomed purpose? like...... american democracy?
<Ellied>
close enough. I would've said "I need to find more people to whom I can explain numerical analysis" not counting humorous respellings.
<egg|zzz|egg>
yeah that sounds more natural
<egg|zzz|egg>
(but then you need that "can" which makes me sad, so verbose)
<kmath>
<eggleroy> <Majiir> I really am imagining egg just drowning in a sea of papers https://t.co/P2iqkDT7CN
<Ellied>
truth be told I would probably say "I need to find more people to explain numerical analysis to" which high school english teachers (and my dear sister) will tell you is wrong because of the dangling preposition, but my stance is that dangling prepositions are fine as long as the sentence makes sense.
<egg|zzz|egg>
yeah, I was also thinking about that one
<egg|zzz|egg>
also, fun thing about not being a native english speaker and knowing a bit of german: I'm *really* irked when a whom is replaced by a who, and very often entirely confused too (as in spending minutes trying to make sense of the sentence)
<Ellied>
"I need to find more people to which to explain numerical analysis" is probably the most concise way of restructuring to avoid that, if you like.
<Ellied>
or to whom I guess, but in my particular set of regional and social conventions, 'to which' sounds clearer.
<egg|zzz|egg>
(if so, it's mostly because I've been interested in quotation marks lately in relation to my job)
<whitequark>
okay well you could modulate your CB1 receptors using a FAAH antagonist but that doesn't mean it is a good idea
<whitequark>
i was basically looking for something, *anything*, that would work for my anxiety
<whitequark>
and then i go look at phenibut and voila, the therapeutic index is like 150
<whitequark>
turns out three grams of it (that's about 12 pills) get you functionally drunk but without any of the toxic effects
<egg|zzz|egg>
!u “„“”
<Qboid>
U+201C LEFT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK (“)
<Qboid>
U+201E DOUBLE LOW-9 QUOTATION MARK („)
<Qboid>
U+201C LEFT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK (“)
<Qboid>
U+201D RIGHT DOUBLE QUOTATION MARK (”)
<egg|zzz|egg>
\o/ quotation marks \o/
<Ellied>
whitequark: I was dumb and had alcohol again. Some brewery guy was handing out beer samples and I was like "okay, I'll taste a sip" and it turns out a) beer tastes horrrible, and b) the threshold for noticeable effects of alcohol on my system is lower than one sip of beer.
<whitequark>
Ellied: alcohol is dummmmmmb
<Ellied>
I guess 'learning the hard way' is significantly harder for a physicist than a normal person. You keep feeling like you have to collect additional data to be sure.
<whitequark>
seriously of all the psychoactive drugs ( i mean that in the wide sense, including ssris and whatnot) i tried alcohol is the worst
<whitequark>
and thats taking into account that i had adverse reactions to som
<whitequark>
it might be about as bad as venlafaxine
<Ellied>
what's venlafaxine?
<whitequark>
very shitty SNRI
<whitequark>
in me, it induces extremely severe anxiety, strong nausea, and very strong gastrointestinal disturbance. and that's with a half life of 12 hours or something like that
<Ellied>
ouuuch
<whitequark>
imagine a garden hose except like, from both ends. The Venlafaxine Experience™
<Ellied>
ick
<whitequark>
and that was from ONE CAPSULE. it wouldn't even start working until I took three daily
<whitequark>
like. jeez. fuck SSRIs. fuck SNRIs so hard. bupropion is *maybe* fine. reversible selective MAO-A inhibitors and TCAs are like, moderately awful
<whitequark>
at this point i'm convinced the people regulating antidepressants in RU have a deep-seated hatred of anything human
<whitequark>
they did not renew the licenses of any antidepressant that doesn't fall either into category A (basically useless compared to placebo) or category B (almost useless compared to placebo AND has horrifying side effects)
<Ellied>
I might need to see if I can get on something better than escitalopram. It works in that I no longer feel sharply horrible all the time, but it sure doesn't make me any less tired, which is probably my main problem.
<whitequark>
notwithstanding that both categories A and B can give you permanent or at least long-lasting brain damage
<Ellied>
:/
<whitequark>
well if you feel tired then it sounds like an SNRI would be somewhere in the right direction
<whitequark>
i think they still prescribe bupropion in the US, ask your psych about that? it's commonly prescribed precisely for this reason
<whitequark>
you aren't getting MAOIs or TCAs for sure
<Ellied>
It's like I never finish waking up. I never get rid of that deep-seated heavy fog of sleepiness when I wake up in the morning and it follows me around anywhere.
<Ellied>
s/any/every/
<Qboid>
Ellied meant to say: It's like I never finish waking up. I never get rid of that deep-seated heavy fog of sleepiness when I wake up in the morning and it follows me around everywhere.
<whitequark>
(oh, have I mentioned that venlafaxine has a withdrawal syndrome that, according to an ex heroin addict, is worse than heroin withdrawal?)
<Ellied>
jesus
<whitequark>
(like do you design a drug this shitty on purpose or do you just hate everything alive?)
<Ellied>
okay, I get it; if my doc tries to prescribe venlafaxine, I'll jun away screaming and find a new doc
<Ellied>
run
<Ellied>
god I need to find my glasses
<whitequark>
anyway, brain fog seems smack in the middle of the set of things i expect from an ssri. i mean, you're lucky, this is basically the best case outcome
<Ellied>
well I mean the prevalence and popularity of alcohol suggests that a large fraction of the population enjoys chemically punishing themselves, so maybe someone really into that went "I can do worse than this!" and invented venlafaxine.
<whitequark>
you don't get brain zaps, you haven't lost the ability to experience joy completely
<whitequark>
lol
<Ellied>
brain zaps?
<whitequark>
ever hit your elbow?
<Ellied>
I get what might be described as brain zaps whenever I withdraw from escitalopram
<whitequark>
imagine this happening completely at random for [months; rest of your live)
<Ellied>
sort of like a combination of vertigo and having reality freeze for an instant and then jump forward
<Ellied>
usually in moments of physical exertion which is just great if I'm running or something and need to concentrate on not tripping
<whitequark>
that's not what people usually mean by "brain zap" but it also sounds like an ssri withdrawal symptom alright
<Ellied>
alright
<whitequark>
don't do shitty drugs kids
<whitequark>
maybe try to get atomoxetine from your doc if that's possible
<whitequark>
it's a mild stimulant and also has clinically relevant NMDA action
<whitequark>
or i mean honestly just buy some ketamine. 0.25-1.00mg/kg, your head spins for half a hour and you aren't depressed for the next several weeks, depending on how shitty your life was in the first place
<whitequark>
it's like magic
<Iskierka>
ketamine miiiight be a little experience-dependent
<whitequark>
of course it's not going to be used for treating people despite being at *least* the single best thing you can do to someone in the middle of a suicidal bout right now (or unable to go to therapy, dunno) cuz you can't patent it, but you can seek rent on increasingly shitty SSRIs
<whitequark>
Iskierka: for treating depression you are aiming to *not* get any of the dissociative effects, and in fact at 0.25-0.5mg/kg it's milder than a sleepless night in terms of cognitive impairment
<whitequark>
well I suppose "treating" is a bold word, it's a palliative at best, but it's a damn good palliative if you look at the cost/benefit ratio
<Iskierka>
hm. didn't know what mild levels are or that it had appreciable effects at such a low dose
<whitequark>
i'm saying you will literally experience a little dizziness, comparable to staying awake a bit too long
<Ellied>
I don't think I'm quite ready to turn to the black market yet. I have a lot to lose if I get caught dabbling in illicit substances around here.
<egg|zzz|egg>
!WPN Ellied, Iskierka, and whitequark
* Qboid
gives Ellied, Iskierka, and whitequark a defective thagomizer
<whitequark>
the effects are remarkable. it's essentially a reset button. flush all that useless rumination and self-hate down the drain, get distracted with something more productive
<Ellied>
hm, that does sound nice
<whitequark>
now if you've had depressive thought patterns for your entire life and are literally unable to think in any other way, it will not help you for long
<whitequark>
a few days to a week. I mean, it's not like anything prevents you from redosing except for cost, it lacks any appreciable toxicity at those tiny amounts
<whitequark>
but it's not a solution
<whitequark>
if you didn't and you know how to get out of that hole? then it might well just solve the whole thing for you
<Ellied>
I don't think I'm there. This sort of started in middle school or so, and I still *can* get excited about things. with my current chemistry, I feel like I'm mostly normal except that I feel like I'm on benadryl all the time.
<whitequark>
well if you go off SSRIs are you going to want to get back on them again soon?
<Ellied>
if I go off of esc for any length of time, I start getting really sensitive to social anxiety and associated worthlessness feelings, but that could be more withdrawal than anything else at this point
<Ellied>
honestly I can't tell.
<whitequark>
ahhhhh so
<whitequark>
depression is comorbid with anxiety disorder.
<whitequark>
in my case i came to the conclusion that i will go nowhere with my depression until i do anything at all to ease the anxiety
<whitequark>
ketamine is, regretfully, not an anxiolytic at all, except for those half hour or so and even then it's barely perceptible
<whitequark>
soooooo you *could* dose yourself with this shitty i-cant-believe-its-not-sedative for the rest of your live, or you could try treating anxiety...
<whitequark>
heads up, if you do have social anxiety and stuff, anything with an NRI, sympathomimetic, stimulant effect is likely to make it worse
<whitequark>
so you'll get rid of the fog on bupropion, maybe, but back with the anxiety.
<whitequark>
or maybe you'll get lucky and it will work for you.
<whitequark>
it's like a lottery but you pay much more and then get punished instead of drawing a blank, isn't it wonderful
<Ellied>
I can't tell if I have anxiety, honestly. I used the word 'social anxiety' because it sort of describes kind of how I feel when I have problems with social interaction and can't tell if my friends actually want to be around me or not. Otoh, I've never had a panic attack before, and don't really get anxious about anything besides social stuff.
<Ellied>
even when I should be, sometimes, like when I have a big project due and can't focus.
<whitequark>
well "social anxiety" is a thing. i can't diagnose you with it, not being your psych, but it exists.
<Ellied>
I know, on both counts. Just saying, I have no idea.
<whitequark>
talk to your psych.
<whitequark>
maybe it won't be a complete waste of time! yay!
<Ellied>
yeah, that goes without saying at this point
<whitequark>
can you tell i'm slightly bitter
<Ellied>
yes
<soundnfury>
Ellied: sounds not dissimilar to me (are you on the AS at all?) and I found SSRIs pretty shitty (both metaphorically and literally)
<soundnfury>
Ellied: my advice, for what it's worth, is to go for behavioural coping mechanisms, rather than chemical interventions - your brain chemistry is probably fine, it's your neurology that cannot into social.
<soundnfury>
but I don't have much data and I'm not a doctor (not even a fake doctor^W^Wpsychiatrist), so take that with a heap of salt.
<whitequark>
^ i think the same and my worst enemy won't call me some afraid of pills
<whitequark>
medicalization of depression and anxiety is more often unhelpful than not
<egg|zzz|egg>
!wpn whitequark
* Qboid
gives whitequark a nominal principle
<egg|zzz|egg>
!wpn soundnfury
* Qboid
gives soundnfury a platinum spectral sequence point with a torch attachment
<egg|df|egg>
before that we were save-compatible from the beginning
<egg|df|egg>
and we expect to retain compatibility going forward, Cardano was weird in many ways
<egg|df|egg>
!wpn whitequark
* Qboid
gives whitequark a greening induction which strongly resembles a 2N2222
<bofh>
LOL
<egg|df|egg>
bofh: ?
<bofh>
oh, just the "strongly resembles a 2N2222" was amusing.
<bofh>
reminded of when I'd use 2N3904s as small-signal diodes b/c I had so many of them and no 1N4184s
<egg|df|egg>
UmbralRaptor: two chemists, a mathematician, an astronomer, a sage, a goblin sage, a naturalist, and a general-porpoise scholar are discussing the height of the tides, the moon, and the sun
<bofh>
egg|df|egg: that being said, PM poke
<soundnfury>
egg|df|egg: ... walk into a bar.
<egg|df|egg>
uh
<egg|df|egg>
SOP, not +SOP :-p
<UmbralRaptor>
I assume that they are in a bar,
* UmbralRaptor
tests the behavior of Kelsysh with all HDDs unplugged.
<UmbralRaptor>
Okay, PSU and fans are ok
* egg|df|egg
pets UmbralRaptor's birb
<UmbralRaptor>
Let's try the linux (IDE) drive
<UmbralRaptor>
Broken?
<UmbralRaptor>
clicking, can't get proper boot menu
<UmbralRaptor>
Ironically, this is probably one of the less bad failures. I want to say that there was nothing critical on it.
<UmbralRaptor>
Besides, it's something like 16 years old.
<egg|df|egg>
O_o
<UmbralRaptor>
20 gig. >_>;;
<UmbralRaptor>
But this suggests that the 250 GiB (RIP, Silbervogel) and 2 TiB drives are fine.
<egg|df|egg>
... 20 GiB??
* egg|df|egg
has forgotten how to count this low
<egg|df|egg>
correction, I have never had this small a HDD
<egg|df|egg>
the first HDD I've had on a computer that was mine (as opposed as the "family" computer) was 70 GiB iirc
<egg|df|egg>
I think that machine was installed pretty much 16 years ago incidentally
<Iskierka>
first bought "for me" though not technically mine was probably 100-200 range, don't remember. first mine would probably be this one and pretty sure it was a 512 still lying around somewhere
* egg|df|egg
expands the quarters of Ancientbird
<egg|df|egg>
student housing fortress
<Iskierka>
granted that's half as old
<egg|df|egg>
... the students have better housing than the general population
<Iskierka>
this sounds like a good arrangement
<egg|df|egg>
Iskierka: yeah, I meant "for me" by mine there too
<egg|df|egg>
Iskierka: specifically, the students have housing, the general population tends to be a bit short on that
<Iskierka>
I think the for-me computer might still be downstairs. I *do* recall exploding its PSU though, so checking disk may be difficult
<egg|df|egg>
the infantry has dedicated housing too, and I'm starting to expand general housing, but I have a bit of a backlog
<Iskierka>
I know my EeePC from maybe 10 years ago was 160 GB. I know this because I found it and took the disk out and found it's bork
<soundnfury>
egg|df|egg: does starwatch of oxen have a tower?
<soundnfury>
all the best university libraries have a tower
<UmbralRaptor>
First totally for me was 20 gig. Then 60.(+40 later). Then 250. Then 2048. Then things get silly