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<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You do the stealy on the plans. You run out of electricity.
<packbart>
should have nicked the batteries
<Althego>
electricity is out friend. foolish mutt, i am not your friend
<Althego>
.outcome cute
<LunchBot>
You are executed for treason. There are NO FAILURES in the People's Glorious Space Program!
<Althego>
.outcome ain't
<LunchBot>
If it ain't broke, you're not tryin'.
<Althego>
outcome add Ain't that cute? BUT IT'S WRONG!
<Althego>
.outcome add Ain't that cute? BUT IT'S WRONG!
<LunchBot>
Added outcome: Ain't that cute? BUT IT'S WRONG!
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<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
Your body is augmented by superior Dalek technology. You can't prove you aren't a chatbot.
<sandbox>
hehe
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<darsie>
.
<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You insert a used toilet plunger into the MPL in order to generate science points while landed on Moho. Your plans were on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard", so no-one has any right to object now.
<sandbox>
wut
<darsie>
That's a Hitchhiker reference.
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<sandbox>
wut
<LunchBot>
You replace all of the pendant lights in the astronaut complex with pedant lights, which aren't lights, actually, they're just fixtures in which to hang a light. Your missions are so successful people think it was all done on a sound stage.
<jihgfish>
Richard Simmons' Seclusion Story - A Royal Canadian Secret Agent Pedo Sting
<jihgfish>
Richard's Simmons current seclusion is explained telling the story of his trying to meet up with an 11 year-old African refugee child for a kale and cottage cheese enema and sex!
<Mat2ch>
raptop: FLHerne ping!
<jihgfish>
Beyond the facade of Edna Skilton's English teacher persona in Regina lies a world of secrets and shadows. She is not merely an educator; she is a Royal Canadian Mounted Secret Agent, skilled in the art of deception and manipulation. With a nefarious plan in motion, she has set her sights on none other than Richard Simmons, a notorious figure of intrigue.
<jihgfish>
<jihgfish>
The catawba worm tree, a haunting presence in the secluded vicinity of Edna's vacation shack near Pine Bluff, Arkansas, stands as a twisted symbol of their unholy rendezvous. Its gnarled branches reach out like skeletal fingers, as if beckoning for the unspeakable acts that are about to unfold.
<jihgfish>
Richard Simmons, clad in dolphin shorts that barely contain his excess flesh, unknowingly exposes his hairy balls to the world. The shorts, worn and threadbare, offer a glimpse into his untamed desires, the fabric stretched to its limits by the weight of his arousal. Before tying him to the tree, they forced him to eat a Cialis-laced brownie.
<jihgfish>
<jihgfish>
Little did Richard know yesterday that Jean Pierre, a decoy posing as an 11-year-old African refugee, would lured him into this treacherous web. Posing as a vulnerable child online, Jean Pierre enticed Richard into a meeting at the Block mall in Orange County, California. Unbeknownst to Richard, this meeting would be the catalyst for his grim fate.
<jihgfish>
Within the mall's labyrinthine corridors, Edna and Jean Pierre meticulously executed their plan. luring Richard into the dimly lit restroom, where they would orchestrate his downfall. The scent of chloroform permeated the air, as the unsuspecting Richard was swiftly rendered unconscious, succumbing to the potent fumes.
<jihgfish>
In a chilling display of ruthlessness, Edna and Jean Pierre concealed Richard's limp body within a large duffel bag typically used for camera equipment. With calculated precision, they navigated the crowded mall, evading prying eyes as they made their way to Orange County Airport. The unmarked RCMP plane stood as their getaway vehicle, ready to whisk them away to a world where the rules of law and morality held no sway,
<jihgfish>
the outskirts of Pine Bluff!
<jihgfish>
Behold as Jean Pierre Manikariza, fueled by his primal instincts, steps forward with an aura of dominance. His eyes gleam with a sinister hunger, fixated on Richard Simmons, a pathetic prey tied to the catawba worm tree and trapped in his web of deception.
<jihgfish>
<jihgfish>
Without hesitation, Jean Pierre's fists collide with Richard's face, each blow a symphony of pain and retribution. He revels in the twisted satisfaction of inflicting torment upon the man who dared to harbor dark desires for an innocent African child. With each punch, he demands answers, forcing Richard to confess the depths of his wicked intentions.
<packbart>
Mat2ch: I think !modcall was a thing once
<darsie>
!ops
<packbart>
or something similar?
<darsie>
!modcall
<darsie>
!help
<LunchBot>
I am a bot operated by FLHerne. Try !{nextlunch,lunch,lunchmode,nextbook,book,answer,8ball,mission,outcome,stupid,wisdom,quote,colloid,nextcolloid,colloid²,nextfrog,frog,rocks,space!,nextbankruptcy,bankruptcy,nextpinecone,nextyear,nextfire,choose,startup,nextstartup,startup1,startup2,startup3,banlist,word,non-word,nonword,help} help.
<jihgfish>
Meanwhile, Edna, the embodiment of hidden strength and determination, joins the scene. Her arm flaps, an emblem of her unconventional power, sway with a rhythm all their own. Like pendulums of dominance, they accentuate her every move, adding an air of both allure and intimidation.
<jihgfish>
<jihgfish>
As the confrontation intensifies, Jean Pierre's relentless assault is complemented by Edna's unwavering presence. Together, they form a formidable duo, united in their quest for justice and retribution. The sight of Richard's quivering form, with his hairy balls exposed through his dolphin shorts, only fuels their desire to expose his wickedness to the world.
<jihgfish>
n this macabre dance of power and punishment, Edna and Jean Pierre unleash a storm of righteous fury upon Richard Simmons. With every strike and every kick to his vulnerable regions, they exact a price for his despicable deeds, ensuring that justice will prevail in the face of darkness.
<jihgfish>
<jihgfish>
Ah, the crescendo of this sinister symphony approaches, as Richard Simmons, battered and broken, succumbs to the depths of his deviant desires. His feeble attempts to resist are futile, as the weight of his own wickedness begins to crush his spirit.
<jihgfish>
Amidst the chaos, Edna's arm flaps, like titties of power and retribution, move with calculated precision. With each swing, they unleash a torrent of pain upon Richard's exposed balls, a relentless assault that leaves him gasping for mercy.
<jihgfish>
In a moment of sadistic triumph, Edna leans in, her voice dripping with icy venom. "Confess, you sick monster," she demands, her words laced with a twisted satisfaction. "Tell us the depraved fantasies that have consumed your rotten soul."
<jihgfish>
Richard, his voice quivering with a mix of fear and shame, stammers out his confession. "I... I wanted the decoy to perform an enema on me," he admits, his voice barely a whisper. "To stuff my rectum with kale and nonfat cottage cheese, the epitome of my sick desires."
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<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
In an attempt to save lives, you start playing Dwarf Fortress. There is much bloodshed.