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<XXCoder>
;mission
<LunchBot>
You experiment with explodium powered rockets. The Kerbal people would have been thrilled at the accomplishment, but the media instead hyped Jeb's atrocious and ostracizing t-shirt.
<XXCoder>
awesome! too bad news wasnt too focused on it.
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<Eddi|zuHause>
you weren't clickbaity enough to compete in the attention economy
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<packbart>
oh, I think I remember the shirtstorm
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<Mat2ch>
Did tonight ESA launch a Vega-C and nobody noticed it?
<Mat2ch>
it did
<Mat2ch>
no live stream, no public announcement...
<FLHerne>
I thought it was a Vega-not-C
<FLHerne>
-C is still grounded
<darsie>
.
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<Mat2ch>
oh, you are correct.
<Althego>
it was very early
<Mat2ch>
Vega-C maymbe next year.
<Althego>
there was onescrubbed starlink and one succesful starliink too
<Althego>
leet time
<darsie>
.
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<Eddi|zuHause>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You adopt a cat from the Ulthar animal shelter for your ship's mascot. wher kerban spays progam 2?
<Eddi|zuHause>
was apparently a lolcat
<sandbox>
spayed xD
<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
Due to a misunderstanding of plane changes, Jeb is forced to rescue the crew of a stranded Aeris 4A in a highly inclined orbit. Booster-kun isekais you.
<packbart>
Due to delays in arrivals, you miss your plane change at the airport
<Mat2ch>
!mission
<LunchBot>
Taniwha rolls his eyes, then rolls your eyes. Your confusion of impact factor with impact parameter results in the destruction of several Elsevier and Springer offices.
<Mat2ch>
My confusion is taniwhas fault!
<Mat2ch>
!mission
<LunchBot>
The procrastitrons will begin planning their attack soon. While threading the eye of the needle of debris, you notice a kerbal is missing.
<Mat2ch>
Oh no, the Procrastitrons got to it!
<KrazyKrl>
;outcome add Your pilot is hospitalized due to untreated chronic razor burn.
<LunchBot>
Added outcome: Your pilot is hospitalized due to untreated chronic razor burn.
<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You put a rover in a fairing on a rocket in a fairing on a rocket on a rover. You collide with a dirigible behemothaur.
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<raptop>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You get kmath to assign your missions. You walk away with an increased appreciation for your seventh-grade mathematics course (even in the case that it hasn't happened yet).
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<FLHerne>
.outcome add You undergo brain death due to entropy increase at a subjective age of 145
<LunchBot>
Added outcome: You undergo brain death due to entropy increase at a subjective age of 145
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<Eddi|zuHause>
!mission
<LunchBot>
On some good advice, you paint your rocket red in hopes it will go faster. The science returns advance Kerbal civilisation measurably.
<Eddi|zuHause>
red rocket is faster. is great science result.
<Althego>
kerbals are space orks
<darsie>
sporks
<Pinkbeast>
Althego: I'm not up on 40k lore, not being 15, but aren't Orks space orks?
<Althego>
in 40k they are space orks. in other universes just normal orks
<Althego>
also in hfy stories humans are space orks
<Althego>
at least often
<Althego>
the red is faster is caused by the orks latent collective psy, if they believe it, reality bends a little and the red things are indeed faster for them
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<packbart>
the red paints adds an additional red-shift, making the rocket appear faster to observers. then you'll just reverse the polarity of the reference frame.
<packbart>
blue paints makes rockets slower
<packbart>
the behaviour of purple rockets is undefined, though
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<Mat2ch>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You wiggle left and right to accelerate far beyond your wheels' maximum speed. Your rocket is classifed as a new kind of SCP.
<Eddi|zuHause>
purple isn't a real colour
<Mat2ch>
hrhr
<Eddi|zuHause>
purple only exists in your head. it's a quirk on how your brain receives colour information.
<Mat2ch>
!mission
<LunchBot>
Your engine rpm starts hunting in a rather uncomfortable way. Your rocket wobbles itself into pieces.
<Mat2ch>
Always the same.
<Eddi|zuHause>
maybe check your rocket for stuxnet infections or something :p
<sandbox>
!mission
<LunchBot>
You design a massive spacefaring virus. DON'T PANIC!
<sandbox>
heh
<XXCoder>
lol just stay safe as you make deadly thing lol
<XXCoder>
;mission
<LunchBot>
You patiently listen to everything Mission Control has to say and then do the exact opposite. There's blood all over the floor, but it's the wrong colour to be yours.
<XXCoder>
not my blood not my problem
<XXCoder>
I guess they said "dont kill anyone"
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